Loudmouf Sneakilla
Loudmouf Sneakilla
Modeling
Loudmouf uses Snuikrot’s body. I used the head from the plastic Nob box that has Cylon eyes, and connected it with putty to fill out the neck. Into the neck and mouth-tube I inserted Guitar Wire that runs up to the speakers, which come from the Sisters of Battle tank sprue. The frame on his back is a sprue. The canopy is from the old plastic tree terrain sprue. Loudmouf’s custom Cesti (plural of Cestus) are sharpened pieces of sprue held on with custom sculpted putty vines to hide Snikrot’s dog tags. The switch on the back is putty and paper clip.
Backstory
The last words Loudmouf uttered with his own vocal chords were: “Oi! I just ‘membered dat I left me favrit squig at ‘ome!”
This was as his Kommando squad was about to infiltrate an Imperial Guard base and bring down the defenses so that Smartyskull could raid it. His Nob was less than thrilled when two thirds of the squad was obliterated by heavy bolter fire. Dragging Loudmouf by his neck all the way back to camp, the Nob deposited him before Smartyskull and asked for a judgment, as Da Boss always found funny ways to punish the stupid or careless. Smartyskull’s verdict was that because Loudmouf’s neck was so badly injured, that he should go see Dok Gilgivva, hur hur hur.
Loudmouf’s Nob didn’t like this verdict much; so on the way he took a large chunk of Loudmouf’s neck with him. This was the luckiest thing that could have happened to Loudmouf, as you can’t install gills into a ruined neck. With the help of Manik Upzindownz, the Dok installed another invention he had been working on, his patented loudener.
Once finished, Loudmouf was unable to utter any syllables below 130 decibels. The Dok’s new loudener also came with a very important feature: a mute switch. Though it tends to get caught on things, Loudmouf became adept at moving so that he doesn’t accidentally turn it on. This has made him the new paragon of Ork stealth. (So stealthy in fact that his Nob didn’t hear Loudmouf sneaking up on him.)
His signature weapons (custom made at great expense) are cesti (horseshoe shaped bars, sharpened along their outer edge), strapped to his forearms. This allows him to slash up Humies in combat while keeping his hands free to move underbrush, open doors, or muffle a sentry before he can shout. Loudmouf enjoys creeping up on an enemy, then turning on his loudener and shouting “WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” in a blast that leaves the enemy temporarily deafened, and unable to hear orders. Then, he shuts off the loudener and melts back into the background, ready to pop out and kill again.
Gotz more trukks, boss! Job’s a good’un!
Here’s my other three trukks. The first you saw before was an Evil Sunz Trukk, so it was red. Other clans are more subtle with their red paint job.
The Goff trukk with the black and white checkers has some red panels. Red’s a good Goff color too! For extra combattyness, this trukk has a wreckin’ ball!
There’s a yellow Bad Moons trukk with a wicked red racing stripe. Added black flames for more style.
Then of course there’s the Deathskull trukk. The red paint job is UNDER the fresh blue paint job that was put on minutes before the battle started. So no one will know it’s stolen.
In remembrance of loves lost: my Flesh Tearers army
Once you’ve been gaming long enough, been desperate for cash enough, or simply let that fire go out for one particular army, you’ve sold off an entire force. Sometimes you put a lot of effort into a force of models, only to let those minis go for some cash you could have gotten by taking some overtime or selling blood. To every thing, turn turn turn.
I have only sold one army: my Flesh Tearers Space Marines. You may recall from previous entries that I won the initial seed of this army in the very last auction held at the Games Workshop in Novi, Michigan (now out of business). That was a huge emotional high. After years of seeing Joe’s Angels Sacrosanct take on all comers, I wanted to start some Blood Angels. It was originally my idea to have a Space Marine army for each primarch. Blood Angels seemed like the next logical step as a second army.
First I had to figure out WHAT Blood Angels to play. Joe’s army was a “normal” Blood Angel army, and so I wanted something a bit different. I remembered the Flesh Tearer list from the Index Astartes article and thought that would be perfect. Lots of great conversion opportunities, neat color scheme, and a doomed, heroic background. Plus, the extra chance of Death Company made it so I wouldn’t need a lot of Elite troops, as they were less worth it to take because they would be Death Company more often. It would keep the Tearers from getting out of control like the Azure Flames, who are barely contained in their new case.
The Index Astartes article had an “Imperial Chain Axe” and so I thought that would be my signature. I begged, borrowed, and bartered for Khorne Berzerker chain axes and used my trusty multi-tool file to file the chaos-y details off. I then custom sculpted double-eagles or Flesh Tearer logos on each axe. These details were 1/8″ wide and looked fantastic. These Axes would go on every sergeant, as by the rules the sergeant was the FIRST chosen for the Death Company, and I didn’t want to pay for power weapons. When these rules changed, I simply painted the teeth of the chain axes bone and said they were the teeth of the Dinosaurs of Cretacia, the Tearer’s homeworld, and they counted as power weapons.
At the time, Chapter Master Seth had no special rules of his own. (he now has some and a bitchin’ ass model too!) So I used the Salamanders Chaplain Xavier model, Dante’s Melta Pistol, and a wicked looking jagged sword. Seth was my stand-in for Dante, just as my modified Tigirius (the OLD Tigirius as the new one has a stupid face) was my Mephiston.
I also had (not pictured below) four Rhinos with the Razorback hatch. When I wanted a Razorback I popped in a gun. When I wanted a Rhino, I popped in a custom hatch with a berserk Flesh Tearer popping out, or a hunter-killer missile! These Rhinos had custom rear doors and openable side doors!
All of my Death Company were modded onto flying stands so that they flew. My greatest triumph (sadly not pictured) were my Veteran Assault Marines. These were all RIDICULOUS conversions. Almost all of them had Woo-style pistols. One was modeled after the art of an assault marine kicking two orks in the face while shooting two pistols. Another was actually shooting a pistol BEHIND HIS BACK. One was diving to the side, another had two plasma pistols firing two directions. One had a flamer, holstered to the side, while he was wielding a chainsword as tall as he was! One had a Dante melta pistol and a melta gun! I modded all of these during the power outage of 2003 to keep from killing myself from boredom.
Sadly, I lost interest in the Tearers as the White Dwarf list came out and made them a little boring. Yes, the list was more balanced and fair, but it also took some of the randomness out of the army and therefore some of the fun. I took them to Adepticon 2009 and sold them piecemeal. One guy bought the Rhinos, saying he was going to strip them. They had fully detailed and painted interiors. *sniff* My painted characters and Death Company went like hotcakes. The converted Assault Marines went almost immediately. Finally, the remaining Tactical Squads, loose minis, and the custom made case was sold to a kid who was buying his FIRST ARMY. I felt a lot better about selling them at that point. I made a kid really happy and and made a bunch of money.
The bottom line is that I sold the Flesh Tearers because even though I owned them, they weren’t MINE. The Azure Flames were MINE. I made their stories. I rose and fell with them. I felt the pain of their losses and the joy of their victories. Some other dude created the Flesh Tearers and it was fun to play them. But I realize that it’s hard fo rme to want to build, paint, or play with an army that wasn’t my own creation. So I abandoned my dream of owning a Space Marine army for each Primarch and instead found armies that I could create. This led to Poindexta Smartyskull’s warband and the Saratogan 58th.
Sometimes I miss the Flesh Tearers. I did some INCREDIBLE paint jobs and conversions. But I don’t regret selling them, no matter HOW overpowered the Blood Angels are now. For your viewing pleasure, here is an image dump of all the pics I took of the Tearers.
Ol’ Dok Gillgivva
Modeling
Dok Gillgivva was made mostly from an Assault on Black Reach Nob. The Klaw and Bionik arm are from the plastic Nob box. I carved down a Slugga for the left bionik arm. To both arms I added syringes made from thick plasticard rods, paperclips, and Space Marine Meltabombs with the middle square bits carved out. The Head light was custom sculpted. I cut the goldfish out of plasticard, and added plasticard gills and used a pin vise for the eye.
Gillgivva was painted like my other orks, with dipping. I then added some dynamic lighting effeccts from the green liquid on his left arm to make it look like it was glowing.
For the ‘Ard Boyz, I used wooden spheres for the heads and custom sculpted the victorian grilles. The tubing is Lego Pneumatic tubing, and the air tanks are Imperial Guard Flamer tanks.
Backstory
Ol’ Dok Gillgivva earned his name when he realized that the skin of a slime squig, carefully applied to an incision on a Boy’s neck, could filter “da good stuff” out of water, essentially giving an Ork gills, allowing him to breathe underwater.
His first experiments did not breathe water well, so to compensate, he used multiple slits, all around the neck. This improved water breathing efficiency, but made the Ork unable to breathe regular air. To compensate for this, he sends them to Manik Upzindownz, the Mad Mek, who sells them an expensive apparatus designed to let them carry around a water supply. Designed by Gillgivva himself, this system incorporates water containers coated with that same slime squig skin, allowing the water to be re-oxygenated and sent to a helmet where the Ork can breathe it in.
To protect their new weakness, most of Gillgivva’s “patients” become Ard Boyz, armoring themselves and their water supplies. Though they can breathe underwater, this prevents them from being amphibious as the armored packs are heavy, and without them they could not leave the water. These Ard Boyz tend to hang around Gillgivva, because after all, gills need maintenance and he has not found a way to give you gills twice.
Gillgivva was the Dok who put Poindexta Smartyskull’s brain(s) in, and Smartyskull keeps him around, protecting him from his victims in exchange for a promise never to give Smartyskull gills.
Force Org Fight! A recount of an epic battle.
In honor of my friend Joe finally joining Facebook so all his friends can GODDAMN TALK to him, I am recounting the most epic battle Joe and I ever had. We put our models on the table.
ALL OF THEM.
Well, almost all. Joe proposed that we screw points values and limit ourselves to one force organization chart. We did. I had the Azure Flames (my only army at the time) and he had his Angels Sacrosanct, a Blood Angels successor. This was back in 3rd ed, so Blood Angels cost the same but got free Death Company, and free Furious Charge, and overcharged engines, and you had to wash the Blood Angels player’s car or something.
Anyway, we covered the deployment zone in miniatures. Mine deep blue, his maroon and black. We fought. Men died. It was epic. Of course I lost. Joe had a much bigger and more developed army, plus a significant rules advantage. Nowadays I think it would be more even, as I have 50 Terminators and 3 Land raiders. I’m not sure if the Angels have really developed as Joe has a bunch more armies, including a counts-as Eldar that are modeled as Exodites which are BAD ASS.
By the way, DON’T do this unless you have a LOT of time. Especially for cleanup.
Battlefleet Gothic Modeling and Painting
So, if you’ve read some of the posts in this blog, you’ll know I got into Battlefleet Gothic because my friend Lexington did. I started a Space Marine Fleet to accompany my 40K Space Marine Army, the Azure Flames. You’ll see some of their ships in the gallery below.
But, since then, I have been on a bit of a Gothic kick. I am a teacher (currently middle school, but I plan to move to a High School eventually) and I want to be able to start a wargaming club at that school. I needed two fleets to teach someone how to play Gothic, and the best way to do that is with Imperial Navy and Chaos fleets. So I have those now.
The Azure Flames fleet has custom flames sculpted on all the capital ships. They are Azure Flames blue with Enchanted blue details and Ice blue highlights. They have their bearing markers painted on the base, and their names in calligraphy with flame details.
The Chaos Fleet is a dark purple with lighter drybrush highlights. The metal is bronze and the lighiting is Mechrite Red with Blood Red over the top of it.
The Imperial Navy fleet is Codex Gray with a wash of black and then highlighted with lighter grays twice. The metal is gold and the front is Blood Red. Lighting is white or Ice blue.
You’ll see some small black squares with stuff on it. These are Low Orbit Table defenses. The Airstrip has a putty-molded copy of an Imperial Fury Interceptor, a piece of blister plastic for a runway, and beads that look like a control tower and a hangar. Once painted, I will scrape the sides of the top bead on the tower to make it clear blue. The one with the 6 green hatches is a missile silo, putty moulded from the Epic scale Rhino. The thing that looks like the power generator and Ion cannon from The Empire Strikes Back is a Lance battery. Note that all of these are mounted with a half of an Epic base, so that when balanced on this they point “up” to the top of the low orbit table.
I also made Gas and Dust Clouds from pictures given to me by John. These are of all possible sizes you can generate, and have been laminated 10 mil so that they will last forever. There are also ring-shaped gas and dust clouds. Not shown are asteroids, also laminated 10 mil. The Gas and Dust Clouds have the dimensions printed on the back.
I made some custom markers for the Sunward Edge, and Solar Flares and Radiation Bursts. These will make keeping track of these easier.
Finally are markers for Warp Rifts similar to the Gas and Dust clouds. These also have the dimensions on the back and are laminated 10 mil.
With these, some unpainted transports and orbital defenses, and a few other props, I have everything I need to play any game of Gothic at anytime. I have a piece of black felt 4’x6′ and a smaller piece of blue felt for a low orbit table.
Liam Perseus, Chapter Master of the Azure Flames
Modeling
I made an old model of Perseus with the Terminator Captain with Storm Bolter model years ago, but he wasn’t that great. The cabling looked bad and his storm shield was tiny. My original idea was that it be a shield that incorporates weaponry, so that a successful block can be a slice as well. The original model did not do it justice.
For the new model, I used Marneus Calgar’s upper torso, modified to get rid of the stupid eagles. I used the Devastator Sergeant head, with an elongated nose. I added a third and fourth service stud, as Perseus is about 400 years old. The legs are the plastic legs from an Assault on Black Reach Terminator sergeant, with the flame added to the right knee pad. On his back to cover up Marneus’ Bolter ammo feeds, I added some purity seals and scrolls. I also added an Iron Halo on top.
For the arms, they are double dry-pinned with a magnet holding them on. the pins come out of the torso, and the pin holes in the arms are deep, but are wide at the top so the pins slide right in. You can pick up Perseus by any of his arms and he won’t fall apart, or change his pose.
Perseus’ Storm Shield was made from the Masters of the Chapter Storm Shield, and two plastic power axes and two pewter Bike sergeant power swords. The Grenade arm is a standard Storm Bolter arm, with an Imperial Guard grenade launcher.
The Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield combo is the normal plastic one from the Termintator kit, with the Hammer modified with putty.
Paint used the standard Azure Flames color scheme, with a few embellishments on the feet and cape.
Backstory
Liam Perseus is a Terran. His parents were pilgrims, and ended up serving the Ecclisiarchy on Terra itself. He was born into servitude on Terra, and luckily for him, was a young teenager when the Tech Priests of Mars, at the behest of Inquisitor Eric Boucher, decided to make a Salamanders successor chapter. Liam was simply scooped up by a Tech Priest, as his parents told him that he was destined for greater things.
Liam was one of the thousand Space Marines delivered to Nocturne as the Sons of the Salamander. No Son had rank yet. Being trained in the arts of war by their parent chapter caused Perseus to stand out. His natural leadership qualities and powerful personality made him one of the first Sons of the Salamander to be promoted to Sergeant.
As the chapter structure took hold, Salamander Apothecaries noticed something strange. The Sons were not affected by the radiation on Nocturne. Perseus and his chapter brothers’ skin was not turning black, nor their eyes red. One battle brother died in training, and the Apothecaries examined his gene seeds. From that point on all Salamander and Sons of the Salamander Apothecaries were forbidden to speak of the possible genetic variance. The official word was that they are a Vulkan chapter and the matter was closed. Rumor persists to this day.
Perseus, being trained by ecclisiarchs as a child, found the Promethean Cult a bit dubious until he found the joy of making weapons. He hand-crafted his first sword. He insisted on using it to join in the yearly Salamander hunts on Nocturne. Sadly, this sword was destroyed in the hunt when Perseus used it to prevent himself from falling into a volcano. Perseus did bring home a Salamander pelt, but not the biggest. Undeterred, Perseus used the pelt to make a shield.
Forty seven years of distinguished service as a sergeant followed. Perseus fought traitors and aliens with equal fervor. He was among the first to re-paint his armor when the Sons of the Salamander became the Azure Flames. He fervently believed in Atrus’ vision.
His shield was severely damaged in a fight with the Iron Warriors. He used it to block the attack of the traitor’s Power Fist. The shield shattered like glass, and so did the bones in Perseus’ arm. Perseus used the shattered remnant strapped to his arm as a weapon, jamming it into the traitor’s neck.
Perseus was soon promoted to the First Company, and chose the wargear of the Thunder Hammer and Storm Shield. He was a part of the third Terminator squad during the invasion of Hive Fleet 2501 in the battle for the North Complex on Landon. Atrus personally accompanied his squad, and Perseus watched as a Hive Tyrant cut him down. Perseus smashed the Tyrant’s head with his Thunder Hammer, but Atrus was too far gone to save. Perseus heard Atrus’ voice begging to be interred in a Sarcophagus. He demanded that it be done. It was. Perseus became Captain of the First Company thereafter, and took on the duties of Chapter Master when appropriate. Atrus was still the de facto Chapter Master.
Perseus took up a new project. He remade his Storm Shield into a weapon, and trained with it to develop a new fighting style. He became known as an invincible relentless combatant, able to turn the tide against the most skilled opponent.
When Atrus died in the Chasma Spica conflict, Perseus took his rightful place as the Chapter Master. He decreed that Iperin, the planet on which Atrus died, was to be the new homeworld for the Azure Flames. Every Space Marine chapter in the Chasma Spica conflict backed up his claim.
Perseus has overseen the Chapter’s combat service. He directs them to war torn zones where the Azure Flames go out of their way to protect refugees. Under this policy, refugees are relocated to Iperin, where they are given a new home in the rebuilt capital of Releeshan. Perseus’ kind but stern leadership style and aged appearance has earned him the nickname “The Old Man.” He struggles with the authority left by Atrus’ death, and works hard to groom Atrus’ gene-son Antonius for the day Perseus falls in battle.
Rules
When Perseus has a Thunder Hammer and Storm Shield, he is the Captain of the First Company and stands in for Darnath Lysander. With his shield and grenade launcher, he has the following profile.
HQ – Chapter Master Liam Perseus: 260 Points
WS: 6
BS: 5
S: 4
T: 4
W: 4
I: 5
A: 4
Ld: 10
Equipment: Terminator Armour, Perseus’ Storm Shield, Auxilliary Grenade Launcher, Teleport Homer.
Special Rules
Eternal Warrior
Perseus’ Storm Shield: Perseus customized this tower sized Storm Shield by adding power weapons all along the perimeter. This makes the shield into a targe, used for both offense and defense. Perseus’ Storm Shield counts as both a Storm Shield and a Relic Blade. In addition, Perseus’ unique skills combined with the dangerous proposition of attacking an object covered with power weapons allows Perseus to re-roll all rolls in close combat to hit and to wound.
Riposte!: Perseus is a master of allowing an enemy to overextend themselves, and taking advantage of even the tiniest opening. In close combat, any successfully made armour or invulnerable save grants Perseus an extra attack at initiative 1. If Perseus is killed before initiative 1, the attacks are lost.
Orbital Bombardment: Perseus can call down an Orbital Bombardment, as detailed in the Chapter Master entry in the Space Marine Codex.
The New Chaos Codex: Why I like it even though it sucks
Recently on BOLS, there was a discussion of how the new Chaos Codex is not competitive. You can read it here: http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2011/02/remembering-chaos-glory-days.html
If you don’t want to click, I can sum up the arguments pretty quickly.
1. The new codex isn’t as obscenely overpowered as the older one.
2. The flavor of the legions has been left behind in favor of renegades.
3. Several armies (mostly Emperor’s Children) have invalid models (Tanks with sonic weapons)
4. Demons are generic and that’s bad.
Here are my thoughts on the above points.
RE 1: Tough. Playing against armies with Daemon Princes that have 5 wounds, a 4+ invul, feel no pain, monstrous creature and ignores invuls was no fun at all. The legion armies got bonuses for taking daemon packs in certain numbers, which had no downsides. Defilers hid behind forests and bombarded the enemy. Predators with the Nurgle +1 armor value upgrade sat with impunity in the middle of a field, heedless of danger. The new codex has lots of useful options without being ridiculous.
RE 2: True, but you can work around this. I agree with Lexington that renegade Marine chapters would not automatically trade all their assault cannons for autocannons, and trash all their landspeeders and razorbacks. However, you can still play as the World Eaters. Just take a lot of berzerkers! I’ve seen this list work well with teleporting terminators and Vindicators for fire support. While the LAYOUT of the book and fluff has left the main legions in the dust, their spirit can be found in the list, with a little creativity.
RE 3: I totally agree. This pissed me off. Several people modded Slaaneshi tanks, Legion Terminators, and Iron Warriors players even bought a goddamn Basilisk. Now, while I think the whole Basilisk thing was a MISTAKE and am VERY GLAD Chaos is not allowed to take them anymore ever, I am angry about the other stuff. Sure Legion Terminators can now just be used as regular terminators with the appropriate Icon, but that’s weak. The Legion Terminators were never overpowered, indeed they were a bit overpriced! Plus the Slaaneshi tanks had to typically pay points for a gun with as many downsides as upsides compared to the gun replaced. I’d like to see these make a comeback. Except the Nurgle +1 armor value upgrade, that was insane.
RE 4: Meh. While I agree that the old demons were flavorful and cool, I understand that GW wanted to make a Demons-only list. Should they have done this? Perhaps not. But they did it. I’d be all for a way to use the God-specific daemons in a CSM list, but haven’t figured out a way to make it fair. Just infantry only. Using Steeds of Slaanesh in a CSM army was unbelievably broken.
In conclusion, the current Chaos codex has useful and powerful units without giving certain armies a free bonus for doing what they would have done already. The list is balanced and if you can’t compete with it, you need to be more imaginative.
Now, the FLUFF and LAYOUT of the book is intolerable. They gloss over the main legions and concentrate on crappy Renegades. While renegades may by fun, they are the Sonny to the Legion’s Cher. The vast majority of Chaos Space Marines are from the Legions, and if you want to make a renegade chapter go right ahead. However the story should focus on these stubborn hateful traitors, not the upstarts that follow their example. Plus the rules for the various marks are incredibly hard to find, as they are not with the rest of the wargear! Whoever laid out this book should be forced to watch Judge Judy, Ludovicio technique style, while tripping on acid and randomly being electrocuted in the face.
I miss Bitz Ordering from GW
Gather round, ye young players, and let me tell you stories of old. In the before time, The Games Workshop magazine, White Dwarf, came with a listing of all of the possible pewter bitz in the ENTIRE GAMES WORKSHOP LINE. You could call GW and order any bitz in any quantity or combination. I used it often, as there were some things that I needed that you just couldn’t get in the blister without a huge amount of waste.
For example, back before plastic Assault Terminators, I needed a Terminator Sergeant with a Thunder Hammer and Storm Shield. The only sergeant model sold in blister had a power weapon/storm bolter. So, I bitz ordered a Terminator Sergeant body, a banner pole, and a regular Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield arm combo. Bitz ordering gave me what the blisters could not.
There was another, even SWEETER side to this. If you attended Games Day, you could buy ANY pewter bitz BY THE POUND. Want 20 meltaguns? Sure. Would you like 80 copies of the Eversor Assassin backpack? NO ONE CAN SAY NO TO THAT. It gave a DAMN good reason to attend Games Day, and let me make a HUGE amount of conversions in my army today that I would never have been able to do.
GW never intended to do individual plastic bitz and I understand that. The internet market has stepped in and filled that void. But it is incredibly rare to find any pewter bitz on non-GW ordering sites. There are a couple but they don’t have the entire range.
Sure, as more plastic kits come out, pewter is becoming obsolete. But there are some times when you just need that old archive bit. My buddy Lexington loves the old fan-style Space Marine Jump Pack. Having the old archive bitz gave modelers the ability to make anything, without having to track down old stuff on ebay.
The bottom line is that there are old pewter bitz that I wish everyone had access to. GW does give some “upgrade packets” prices, but you have to buy the whole thing. What if you want an odd number of shields?
I get why they stopped. It costs money to hire dudes who will paw through the archive and get the bitz people like. Charge us a handling fee! I’ll pay it if I need the bitz for the perfect conversion! WE ALL WILL! WE ARE ADDICTED.