The past few months I have been attending game night at AFK games with the Azure Flames, but the Marines are actually a bit too good.  Their list is modern and competitive.  I needed a challenge.

This sounds like a job for the Orks!  Especially because I have no aircraft.  So I had an idea.  I’d make three lists and choose which one to use in a game randomly.  One, a Ghazgkhull green tide footslog, one a Speed Freek mounted, and one a ridiculous shooty list.  All 1850 points.

I found a willing opponent in Mr. Cat, covered in one of my previous batreps.  However, Mr. Cat did not have the means to play an 1850 game, and so borrowed several assets from Stephen, another of my frequent opponents.  After he banged together an 1850 list, I rolled a D3 and chose my Ghazgkhull footlsog, led by none other than Warboss Poindexta Smartyskull, the Ork with two brains.  Here’s our lists:


WAAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

-Poindexta Smartyskull (counts as Ghazgkhull Thraka)

-Big Mek, Burna, Kustom Force Field, ‘Eavy Armour, Attack Squig

-Meganobz x10, Kombi-Skorcha, 5x Kombi-Rokkits

-Slugga Boyz x30, Nob, ‘Eavy Armour, Power Klaw, 3x Rokkit Launcher, Bosspole

-Shoota Boyz x30, Nob, ‘Eavy Armour, Power Klaw, 3x Rokkit Launcher, Bosspole

-‘Ard Slugga Boyz x12, Nob, Power Klaw, Bosspole, Rokkit Launcha

-Deffdred, 2x Rokkit Launcha, Armour Plates

-Killa Kans x3, 3x Grotzookas

-Lootas x10


Mr. Cat – Crimson Fists

-Librarian, level 2 psyker, knows Haemorhage and Puppet Master

-Tactical Squad x10, Veteran Sergeant, Power Sword, Heavy Bolter in a Rhino

-Tactical Squad x10, Veteran Sergeant, Power Sword, Heavy Bolter in a Rhino

-Tactical Squad x10, Veteran Sergeant, Plasma Pistol, Flamer, Missile Launcher in a Rhino

-Tactical Squad x10, Veteran Sergeant, Plasma Pistol, Flamer, Missile Launcher in a Rhino

-Tactical Squad x10, Veteran Sergeant, Plasma Pistol, Flamer, Missile Launcher (on foot)



-Devastator Squad x5, 2x Heavy Bolters, Lascannon, Multimelta, Plasma Pistol

-Scouts x5, Heavy Bolter

-Vanguard Veterans x10, Jump Packs, Power Sword and Combat Shield on Sergeant, 1x Power Axe, 2x Power Sword, 1x Plasma Pistol

-Land Speeder


Mission: Purge the Alien (every unit killed yields a victory point)

Setup: Vanguard Strike (opposing table corners)

Here’s our table.  Mr. Cat won the roll to deploy and chose the corner in the lower left of the below picture.

Here’s Mr. Cat’s setup.  Note that in this setup there is no Land Speeder.  Mr. Cat accidentally purchased Sergeant Chronus for the Vindicator (a good buy, but illegal with Imperial Fists doctrine) and so I let him switch Chronus for the Speeder on turn 1.

Here’s my setup

Both of our Warlord Traits has no bearing on the game.  Initiative not seized, no Night Fight.

Turn 1 – Crimson Fists

Three Tactical Squads in Rhinos move up along the left side of the board, supported by the Vindicator, and the Land Speeder.  Two more tactical squads and the Librarian go up the right side.  The Librarian casts Puppet Master on the Killa Kans and the Kans fire on the Meganobz, to no effect.  Fire begins to whittle down the Slugga Boyz despite their 5+ cover save thanks to the Kustom Force Field.  The Devastators put a wound on Poindexta Smartyskull and another Meganob.  The Vindicator kills two ‘Ard Boyz and the Whirlwind misses.

A wall of ceramite advances.

Slugga Boyz take the brunt of some Heavy Bolter fire.

Smartyskull takes a Lascannon for the team, and another Nob is wounded by Heavy Bolter fire.

Psychic tomfoolery turns the Grotzookas on the Meganobz, but Mega Armour shrugs off the blasted scrap.

Turn 1 – WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

The Killa Kans charge a nearby Rhino and pop it open, killing two Space Marines in the explosion.  The Green Tide advances at a run.  The Lootas open up on one of the Rhinos and remove two hull points.

The Kans smash a Rhino open.

The Meganobz Run for the river to avoid the Vindicator.

The Green Tide is called that for a reason.

Loota fire damages a Rhino.

Turn 2 – Crimson Fists

The Tactical Squad that had been in the Rhino along with the Librarian’s Tatsquad throw two Krak Grenades and kill a Killa Kan, then one squad assaults, whiffs, and loses a marine.  They break and flee.  Poindexta Smartyskull calls his WAAAAGH! and get a 2+ invulneable save which fails twice, taking him down to 1 wound remaining thanks to the Devastators.  Squads jump out of their Rhinos and shoot some more Slugga Boyz.  Whirlwind kills one Loota.  The Vindicator kills all but one ‘Ard boy and the Big Mek.

Smartyskull fails two 2+ invulnerable saves!

The whittling continues.

Turn 2 – WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

Grotzookas and a charge break the Librarian’s tactical squad and put a wound on the Librarian.  Thanks to Smartyskull’s WAAAAGH! the Orks all run 6″.

Shotguuuuuuuuun… Nobody ever thinks about it.

The Green Tide Surges forward.

Turn 3 – Crimson Fists

The two Tactical Squads use Krak Grenades and a Krak Missile to finish off the last two Kans.  After skulking behind a rock, the Vanguard Veterans jump out and assault the Slugga Boyz.  The Slugga Boyz nob calls out the Vanguard Sergeant and turns him into Cowboy Sauce, but the rest of the fight does not favor the Sluggas and they get wiped out down to the Nob who amazingly does not break!  The Big Mek is also lost in this fight, so goodbye 5+ cover save!

Kans are eliminated!

There goes the Big Mek.  Luckily the Nob survives!

Turn 3 – WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

The Meganobz and the Deffdred countercharge the Vanguards.  Smartyskull personally kills 6 Vanguards and the rest are taken care of as well. 

The Meganobz eat the Vanguard Veterans for lunch!

…almost there!

Turn 4 – Crimson Fists

With the Sluggas gone the Shootas now start taking fire.  The tactical squads take refuge in the Ork deployment zone.  The Land Speeder zooms forward to try to kill the last ‘Ard boy, but a lucky cover save keeps the ‘Ard Boy alive.

The Shootas lose some guys as the Land Speeder makes a desperate ploy for one more kill point.

The Librarian gets Linebreaker by moving into the Ork deploment zone.

Turn 4 – WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

The Green Tide arrives as the Shootas assault one Tactical Squad and the Meganobz assault another.  The Meganobz wipe out their squad but a poor roll to hit keeps the Shootas in combat.  The Slugga Boy Nob and the last ‘Ard Boy stay out of sight to try to save their Kill Points.

The Green Tide washes ashore!

Preserving Kill Points through cowardice!

Turn 5 – Crimson Fists

The Scouts join the fight with the Shootas, but poor rolls all around lead the fight nowhere.  The Vindicator fires on the Meganobz, but a poor scatter and a lucky cover save preserves the Meganobz

The Scouts join the scrum!

Turn 5 – WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!

Smartyskull splits off from the Meganobz and assaults the large fight, but a poor assault means the Orks lose.  Smartyskull stays in the fight, but the Shoota Boyz break and flee!  The other Meganobz use a Disordered Charge to eat a Tactical Squad and the Rhino in one assault phase.  The Deffdred assaults the Vindicator, but fails to kill it.   The Lootas kill the Land Speeder.  Game ends.


Smash!  Stomp!  Kill!

Rawr!  Erm.  Hi.  You wanna be friends?


Final Score

Crimson Fists: 3 + Linebreaker for a total of 4

WAAAAGH! Smartyskull!: 7 + Linebreaker + First Blood for a total of 9


Post-Game Analysis

WAAAAAAGH!  What a fight!  Our lack of aircraft made this an old school Green Tide vs. Marine Gunline battle.  Mr. Cat’s list was a hodgepodge; an artifact of not having enough marines to make a coherent list.  That being said, the Crimson Fists doctrine is fantastic against low armor enemies.  Anyone with a Bolter is essentially BS 3.5 and they can bring a lot of Bolters.  The Ork Footslog list is actually not bad.  It needs Ghazgkull for a turn 2 6″ run to make a turn 3 charge possible.  However, another Big Mek with Kustom Force Field might have been nice so that the tide could spread out.  However, I’ve never been a fan of spamming non-Troops choices, so I’m satisfied with this list.

Next week: I’ll try one of the other two lists!

By Bozeman

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